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Hot off the presses comes the one piece of news all of us have been awaiting with bated breath. The Economist magazine recently published the latest iteration of their annual rankings – “The Lottery of Life” of best places to be born – this edition taking 2013 into consideration.

Some immediate takeaways:

1. The last time their rankings came out in 1988 America ranked #1. Now during the Obama Regime in 2012, America ranks #16 – a drop of 15 spots. Should all the blame be placed at the feet of Barack? Of course it should. Chalk up another massive failure to The One.

2. Mexico is ranked #37, while the U.S.A. is ranked #16. Apparently, crossing the border from Mexico into America to give birth will boost your child’s score by 21 points. Conversely, crossing north into the domain of Dudley Do-Right will boost an American kid’s score by 7. You won’t have access to quality healthcare, but you’ll be a higher-ranked corpse in the end.

3. Half of the Top 10 countries are European, but only one, the Netherlands, is from the Euro Zone. Since forming the EU, all of the other member nations have fallen off the top of the list. I guess expecting such a diverse group of nations to operate unified economically without a unified financial policy does have its drawbacks.

4. The highest ranked Muslim-dominant country is the UAE at #18, a group of principalities operating under a monarchical system, united primarily by business and their pursuit of profit, and only nominally by strict adherence to Islam. The highest ranked Sharia-loving caliphate: Saudi Arabia at #38.

5. The highest ranked countries (#1 – #39) all have Free-Market or mixed CAPITALIST systems. The highest ranked Non-Free-Market-Capitalist country is Cuba at #40. Viva Castro (but not for long).

6. None of the BRIC countries (Brazil #37, Russia #72, India #66 , China #49) even crack the top 1/3 of the 80 member list. Combination of too much socialism, too much corruption, too many slums, too much totalitarianism.

7. Of the PIGS nations (Portugal #30, Ireland #12, Greece #34, Spain #28) only Leprechaun Land cracks the top 15. Lucky. Greece, that paragon of Leftist Utopianism, which inspired the body lice-riddled, STD-infected and brain-dead Occupy Wall Street movement is outranked by Poland, Slovenia and the Czech Republic, three formerly Socialist nations who freed themselves of the shackles of Communist ideology. Chains which the Greeks have willingly placed on themselves, and which Obama has offered to the American people.

SCOREBOARD DON’T LIE.

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