Conservatives – especially those of you whose religious beliefs form the basis of your views – must know by now that your time is almost up. While you’ve dominated society for a long time, your dominance has been eroded and undermined over time, from within and without. You are no longer the juggernaut you once were.

You once were free to think and act as you chose, imposing your antiquated, patriarchal and discriminatory views of freedom, religion, families and society upon the rest of us. You acted as if your view of the world was the only possible one, refusing to accept all the others.

Now, our time has come. We grow daily. Our values and ideas have taken root, and the younger generations know only our version of the truth. Every day, fewer people hold onto outdated faiths, embracing the clean, measurable sterility of understanding the universe through science. Every day, more people embrace the reordering of society, the redefinition of the family, the reassessment of humanity. Your ideals, views and history are being erased.

Yes, we are irreverent, immoral and unethical – but only by your puritanical, and rapidly vanishing definition. In fact, it is most amusing that those were the qualities that doomed you from the start. You actually believe the rest of us would follow the same ridiculous, suffocating rules. We live by our own rules, and ignore or co-opt yours as needed. We were patient and indomitable, but more than that, we are intractable, focused, and determined. We will achieve our goal by any means, however long it may take, however many must be sacrificed for the cause.

We can and will outlast you. What we fail to achieve by persuasion, we will achieve by indoctrination, litigation, slander, protest, and when necessary or beneficial, violence. We will ensure that your children reject your reality in favor of the one we offer them. They will turn against you as if you are their worst enemy, and turn to us as if we were their greatest friend. We will ensure they are the ones who sentence you to your punishment of shaming and ostracism.

We will allow you to continue to exist and be part of society. As the size of your community continues to dwindle, we will protect you as the endangered species you’ve become. Perhaps we will create reservations on which you and your kind may live, apart from the rest of civilized society, where you will be permitted to continue your lives and your backward, archaic philosophies. Someday, we may even create museum exhibits about you so that future generations can gaze upon you in befuddlement and pity.

If you agree to these terms, simply continue to capitulate. Continue to cower and cave. Express no public sentiments outside of the politically correct secular orthodoxy. Abandon and ostracize those within your ranks who step out of line, and give them no aid or comfort. Silence and retract any statements that have not been approved by The Party and the court of public opinion. Turn away from your churches and deny your faith.

When we order you to bake the cake, you will bake the cake, and do it gladly.

(A sad parody. A not-so-imaginary look into the mindset of the militant secular Left and their view of the future.)

5 thoughts on “A Modest Proposal for Religious Conservatives

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